Healing takes time and courage.
It has been over 5 years since I managed to leave an abusive relationship which has left my family traumatised. Me, my now teenage son and even our dog. The humans have had a lot of therapy, the dog is beyond hope but still super cute. I won’t speak for my son or share his […]
Healing isn’t a one-and-done affair after abuse
Healing takes time, patience, forgiveness and at the right time for you. When clients ask me how long it will take for them to heal, I don’t have an answer for them, because everybody’s healing journey is different. Mine has taken 5 years so far and I am still healing, still discovering new things about […]
Hypervigilance after domestic violence.
What is hypervigilance and why is it a thing after abuse? Any kind of abuse is a trauma, and trauma leads to a plethora of symptoms, one of which is hypervigilance. This is described as an elevated state of constantly assessing potential threats around you. Hypervigilance can feel like constantly checking your surroundings to ensure […]
Let me tell you a story about shame
This story is about a 40-something woman who has spent years, more than a decade in fact, feeling deeply shamed about so many things because of domestic abuse. The 40-something woman is me, by the way, in case you were wondering. In the 5 years that I spent in my DV situation, I lied about […]
A narcissist doesn’t move on to someone better…
…they move on to someone who hasn’t figured out their bullshit yet. Narcissistic abusers use a cycle of idealisation, devaluation, discard and hoovering. In a romantic relationship, this can be done concurrently with more than one partner, moving onto their next target starting with the idealisation phase whilst keeping their discarded partner at arm’s length […]
Memory loss after narcissistic abuse
You know that feeling that you’ve forgotten to lock the front door or switch the oven off? That feeling in your gut that you’ve forgotten something really important? When you’re in an abusive relationship with a partner or as part of a family dynamic then that is amplified. You have to be hypervigilant so you […]

© Lisa Furnish

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