What I Learned from Taking a Year Off Social Media: Insights for Survivors of Domestic Abuse and Trauma
As a trauma and domestic abuse psychotherapist in Leeds, I recently took a year away from social media. While initially daunting, this break gave me space to reflect on my practice, stay updated on developments in trauma therapy, and consider how I can best support survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic violence, and other forms of trauma.
What I learned from my summer vacation
I flew all the way to Greece to learn things about myself. I will eat Tzatziki with anything, even breakfast (dip your croissants in it and thank me later) My self-care was not as good as I thought I was before I left I need to find a better work-life balance The sound of gentle waves on the beach is one of the most relaxing sounds in the world Being the parent of a teenager can be lonely Eating 8 meals a day is only acceptable on holiday I am too old for clubbing As much as I enjoyed my […]
Self care is so important
Having just had a week off over the Easter break I was doing some reflection on taking breaks from therapy work and the impact on myself and my clients. Some clients worry about breaks, some clients need crisis intervention support in place and some clients ask how their sessions impact on me and celebrate me taking the break. Nothing is out of bounds in therapy, all feelings are valid. If a client worries they cannot cope during a planned break then we discuss it and what additional support they might need. If a client feels abandoned by me taking a […]
Healing takes time and courage.
It has been over 5 years since I managed to leave an abusive relationship which has left my family traumatised. Me, my now teenage son and even our dog. The humans have had a lot of therapy, the dog is beyond hope but still super cute. I won’t speak for my son or share his […]
Healing isn’t a one-and-done affair after abuse
Healing takes time, patience, forgiveness and at the right time for you. When clients ask me how long it will take for them to heal, I don’t have an answer for them, because everybody’s healing journey is different. Mine has taken 5 years so far and I am still healing, still discovering new things about myself because now it is safe for me to discover them. Ask yourself what being healed would feel like to you. Does it feel like safety? Does it feel like freedom? When you close your eyes and visualise yourself as a healed and whole being, […]
Hypervigilance after domestic violence.
What is hypervigilance and why is it a thing after abuse? Any kind of abuse is a trauma, and trauma leads to a plethora of symptoms, one of which is hypervigilance. This is described as an elevated state of constantly assessing potential threats around you. Hypervigilance can feel like constantly checking your surroundings to ensure there is no threat, overreacting to loud noises, being easily startled by seemingly safe noises, people and situations. In an abusive relationship you become attuned to certain things, the sound of the abuser’s car pulling up, the sound of a key in a lock, the […]

© Lisa Furnish

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