When I was training to be a psychotherapist we learned a lot about Unconditional Positive Regard (UPR), a cornerstone of person-centred therapy. I didn’t really understand it, it’s a fairly vague concept in theory, it wasn’t until I had hundreds of client hours of experience that I truly felt like I got it.

UPR is, in essence, the professional and therapeutic ‘love’ that I have for my clients. Every single one of my clients, past and present, are profoundly amazing, brave, wonderful, messy beings because we are all human and humans are complicated. And I wish that my clients could see themselves the way that I see them.

They are brave for even starting counselling, there is no greater act of self-love than reaching out to a stranger and asking them to them on their journey of self-discovery. The trust that they put in me as their counsellor is humbling. They have bad days when, as we all do, when things are overwhelming and they have survived 100% of their bad days, all feelings, in time, do pass.

Sometimes I feel sad after a session that my counselling client doesn’t see how amazing they are. All the struggles they have faced and are still facing, the resilience they show in facing a world that can be cruel and dark and yet they are still battling on, search for the light.

I am so proud of my clients, how willing they are to be honest and open about their deepest feelings and fears and so grateful that they chose me to be alongside them in their vulnerability.

That, to me, is unconditional positive regard. My deep therapeutic love for them as a whole being, messy parts included, because they are all awesome.

Also, selfishly, they have all changed me in some way that I am grateful for. Fresh insights into the remarkable resilience of individuals who are trying to find a way through a world that can seem unforgiving give me hope that we can all heal from our past. New views of the world through their eyes that give me an insight into their lives changes me on a deeply personal level to become a more grounded, inclusive and forgiving individual than I ever thought was possible.

If you read this far, thank you, I was feeling a profound rush of love for my clients and wanted to share how remarkable they all are (without breaking any confidentiality, of course).

I wish my clients could see themselves the way I see them. With unconditional positive regard for themselves. If this is something that you would like to feel for yourself then get in touch, we can have a free discovery call to discuss what you would like to achieve through counselling and I promise to love you (professionally) for who you are.

~ Lisa